Written by IainB
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Thursday, 29 November 2012

image for Cross Dressers can become bishops
Well...he's already in a frock.

The Church of England, also known as the Anglican Church, the Protestant Church and the Church of King Henry the Eighth, voted recently to disallow women from become bishops, although they can become other members of the clergy, including monks.

The Lay Clergy, whose ultimate decision it was to deny fifty percent of the congregation access to the upper echelons of the church they've supported, have surprisingly ruled that pre-op transsexuals can become Bishops.

The Lay Clergy are a secret sect within the church that many believe comprises of the ghost of Winston Churchill, Peter Purvis from Blue Peter in the 1970s, Lassie the Wonder Dog and several others. One of their ranks has broken ranks and spoken to us, on condition that his identity is not revealed as Nick Clegg, because he doesn't like Nick Clegg, regardless of how long he is forced to spend with him.

"It boils down to penises," said David Cameron. "There's a phrase: 'bash the bishop'. Now many take this to mean that John Bishop needs a good smacking. And while this is true, it is not what the phrase means. It means that bishops have to be able to rub a penis. Their own penis, I hasten to add. We don't want to go down the route the Catholics took."

According to Cameron, this is a vital part of becoming a bishop, as regular penile masturbation has been part of a bishop's duties for centuries.

"It keeps their minds clean and godly," said Cameron.

This stance has opened the way for pre-op transsexuals to apply to become bishops, as they can still bash the bishop with the rest of them.

Despite admitting that they are admitting pre-op transsexuals into their bishoply ranks, not one pre-op transsexual has come forward to become a bishop.

"This may be because, if you see a woman bishop, it'll be pretty obvious that they're a transsexual," said Cameron. "And I know I like to keep my cross dressing a secret."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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