Written by Simon Saunders
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Wednesday, 28 November 2012

image for Rod Hull's Emu Arrested After Running Amok In Devon
Emu during happier times whilst attending the 'Emu Of The Year' awards ceremony in 1987

Former childrens TV star and Michael Parkinson attacker Emu, has been sectioned under the mental health act following an alcohol fuelled rampage in picturesque Barnstaple, North Devon.

The 'Emu's Pink Windmill Show' star has been in steady decline since the death of his comedy partner in crime, Rod Hull, in 1999. Hull died as the result of a tragic accident at his Rye home after falling off the roof while trying to fix his TV aerial.

This new incident has left the TV world stunned.

We understand Emu had been on a three day drinking binge before losing his tiny mind and attacking a number of people on Barnstaple High Street.

One bystander told us that the bird had also been running up and down the towns streets knocking on residents windows while shouting Rod Hull's 'Pink Windmill' catchphrase, "There's somebody at the door, there's somebody at the door."

Another petrified on-looker, who had to be put down after the incident, said. "It was terrifying. He had a manic look in his eyes and was going for anyone who dared to approach him. It was like Parky all over again."

A close friend of Emu's explained why he thought this shocking incident had occured. " Ever since Rod passed away he's been on the slide. Depression, mindless heavy drinking and sporadic cocaine use has all contributed."

After wiping away a tear he continued." Working with Rod was his life. What people don't know is Emu got off on attacking peoples faces and pecking away at their unguarded ankles. the public think it was all Rod's doing but the truth is they had a gentlemans agreement. Emu accepted that to get away with assaulting people he had to allow Rod to shove his arm up his backside so viewers would think he was a puppet. The pair were very happy with this agreement because it allowed Rod to make a living amusing the public with what appeared to be puppet based antics, while Emu got to duff people up for his own pleasure. It was a match made in heaven."

The officer in charge of the investigation, DI Harry Ostrich, informed gathered reporters that the mentally unstable Emu had been taken to a secure unit and was awaiting a psychological evaluation before police decide on a course of action.

Aggressive Emu isn't the only star from 'Emu's Pink Windmill Show' to fall on hard times. His TV nemesis, Grotbags, was arrested last year after thieving a bag of grot from the Torquay branch of 'The Grot Shop.'

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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