Written by Backandtotheleft
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Topics: Kids, Parents

Saturday, 24 November 2012

Studies have proven time and again that children are evil or at the very least manipulative little bastards only out for themselves and their own mysterious political agendas. However new research might have finally concluded that parents (of children, not of adults) may be as bad with up to 9/10 of them admitting to lying on a regular basis to get their offspring to do things.

Back and to the Left news has often found that lying to get somebody to do something is often counterproductive. That or they call the police once they realise our hands can't actually cure infertility problems.

Dr I.No of the Institute For Conducting Studies Other Institutes Have Decided Are A Waste Of Time said:

"Parents are getting more and more reckless with the lies they are telling their kids. Adults want children to take more responsibility in everyday life, so that they can sit back, watch "I'm A Celebrity" and shout at Helen Flanagan's tits. I even overheard one mother informing it's litter that if they didn't make their beds Jimmy Savile would come and get them. Which was absurd! The window into the child's bedroom wasn't big enough for a fully grown man to fit through, a midget perhaps, but not an adult. Although kids often have the brains of mashed potatoes, many of them are able to detect bullshit from a range of up to five hundred yards"

Back and to the Left news aren't surprised that parents are been caught out more and more, with children centric websites even pointing out some of the more outrageous lies adults are using. www.whydomummyanddaddyhavetolie.com writes:

"Your mum and dad will try to scare you into eating your vegetables by telling you about a variety of ailments you will incur if you don't. According to your "Legal Guardians" the diseases you could develop include: Diabetes if you don't eat your broccoli, AIDS if your parsnip remains untouched and Trench foot can run rampant all over your little feet if you don't devour your carrots. So remember everything your parents tell you is probably a lie, including talking to strangers. If you don't talk to strangers how are you going to meet interesting people?

Therein lies the difference between parents and paedophiles: one group lies to their own children while the other (normally) lies to someone else's.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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