Written by Joe Leff
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Friday, 23 November 2012

Many children in poor families are not eating proper meals because most of the food is eaten by their over-weight parents.

These parents are now being ordered to skip meals and take up skipping instead so that their starving kids will have a bit more to eat.

Instead of relying on charity or handouts, poor, fat and greedy parents will now have to undertake a sponsored weight loss regime. This involves lots of skipping, and later on lots of jogging and running fast past cake shop windows.

In the Midlands town of Overeaton, where most poor overweight parents live, they even had plans to organize a marathon - but one of the parents ate it.

As winter approaches, many poor people have been forced to choose between eating and heating. But most overweight parents, given this choice, "always go for eating," said Ivor U. Jarss, "because I never pronounce my aitches - otherwise people will think I'm posh."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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