Written by Joe Leff

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Topics: Cuts, axe, Gateshead

Wednesday, 21 November 2012

Big wide buses in Gateshead are being cut down in size to make way for cyclists.

Massive Megabuses, popular with many obese bus passengers, have been knocking too many cyclists off their bikes. So Gateshead council have recommended that all these buses should be at least three feet narrower.

This can be done by hacking off this amount from the nearside of each bus. A team of axemen have been brought in to modify the buses.

Local cyclists are really pleased with this recommendation. "This will give us a bit more room on the road," said Waddley Briggins, "and we'll also be able to have a chat with the fat bastards on the open side of the bus."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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