Written by Tommy Twinkle
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Wednesday, 21 November 2012

image for Queen Sedated After Massive Fire On Her Island of Jersey!
Jersey Sunset!

A massive fire on the Channel island of Jersey last night has torn through the island's wasp breeding nest fields owned by the Queen destroying them all.

The loss of what would have been an estimated 100 million fully fledged wasps ready for Her Majesty to release onto the British mainland next June was broken to her by the Prime Minister early this morning.

The Queen, who on hearing the news immediately began to complain of feeling 'rather dizzy' led to physicians being called to the Palace who then advised complete bed rest until Christmas. She is to remain heavily sedated for at least the next few days.

Coming on top of a disappointing Diamond Jubilee year when most of Her Majesty's wasps died off within just a few days of being released, unable to survive Britain's exceptionally cold and rainy summer, the prospect of knowing her subjects could be enjoying a hot and sunny summer next year without having it ruined by the devilish wasps buzzing around and attacking them all through next summer must have come as a devastating blow to her.

The cause of last night's fire remains a mystery. One early theory, that the Queen's paper mulch wasps nests could have been set alight by a spark blown from a burning 'Wickerboy' effigy, a ritual rumoured to have been taking place last night in a nearby field of Jersey potatoes, has already been ruled out by Jersey police chief Ralph Itler who insists the only fun thing that ever takes place on the island is their annual Battle of Flowers carnival held in Jersey's capital St.Hell every second Thursday in August.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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