Written by PP Rega
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Saturday, 17 November 2012

image for Identity of Dog Implicated in Bestial-Homicide Case Discovered
The real photo of the dachsund has been altered so as not to prejudice the jury.

Law enforcement has finally identified the anonymous canine that was involved in the bizarre bestiality-homicide case that has rocked the underpinnings of British high society.

It was only a few short weeks ago that Scotland Yard arrested the procurer, Archie Leach, who facilitated an assignation between a canine in the Greater London Dog Pound and Lady Marguerite Spencer-Barrows. It was at the height of the inter-species coupling at the Pound that Lady Marguerite apparently sustained a fatal heart attack.

Mr. Leach, according to police reports, uncoupled the promiscuous pooch from the stiffening corpse of Lady Marguerite and mixed him in with the other 126 hounds residing at the Pound. Despite threats and the occasional thumb-screw, Mr. Leach has refused to divulge the identity of the connubial canine.

However, Scotland Yard has announced with 100% certainty that the horny hound was a 4-year-old spotted brown dachsund based on a review of the internal security tapes taken from the Pound.

When asked how they knew, Sir Percy Cleechey of The Yard said, "The dachsund was the only one smoking a cigarette with his tongue hanging out."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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