A pub in Cumbria has just hosted the "Worlds biggest Liar" competition. A strange time in the world of professional lying was reflected in the turnout for the competition, with none of the pre tournament favourites bothering to turn up.
Nick Clegg, George Osborne and the Milliband brothers all decided not to compete for the title this year and Tony Blair didn't even have the stones to defend his title which he had wrestled back from the entire West Yorkshire police force.
Back and to the Left news was present (by accident we must add, we had been in there sinking whiskeys and trying desperately to block out the fact that were hopeless failures who haven't achieved a fucking thing in life) when the competition begun. The winner Mr. Long Dong was gracious enough to give us a quick interview:
"Winning was simple everyone gave their real names except me! I'm a fucking genius."
Plans to take the competition to a international level have been put forward but sponsors are yet to be found because it is a fucking stupid idea.