Voters were this afternoon defending the controversial decision to ignore elections for new Police and Crime Commissioners. With turnout at 18% and expected to be the lowest ever in a British election, voters were particularly critical of the lack of variety among candidates.
Jim, 26 and a taxi driver with 9 points on his license, told The Spoof, "I read all the candidates manifestos and was disappointed with the choice on offer." Pressed on what he would have liked to have seen from candidates, he said, "Clearly, I'd like candidates to end the pointless harassment of motorists for minor offences like doing 70 in a 40 zone. The candidates just weren't radical enough.". Before he could be pressed further, he was called into court.
Tony, a waste management consultant, said, "the candidates were all the same. All pro community safety and police intervention. None of them were willing to challenge the consensus that police enforcement and intervention are a good thing. The reality is that their bureaucracy ties businesses like mine up in red tape. It's disappointing that none of the candidates represented what the waste management community has been saying for years."
Experts in the field agreed with the public mood. Professor of criminology, Joseph Laughton, confirmed that "the lack of a genuine pro-crime choice appears to have made voters feel that their votes were pointless as there was no real difference among the candidates."
Not all voters agree, however. "There was an election?" queried one mystified voter.