Written by CaptainSausage
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Sunday, 11 November 2012

image for Most schoolchildren completely ignorant about the First World War
A war reenactment society tries to remember which war they are reenacting

In a survey specially held for Remembrance Sunday, a thousand British schoolchildren were tested on their knowledge of the First World War. The results were shocking.

When asked who the main participants were in the war, 62% correctly identified Britain. However, over 30% thought that the Klingons were one of the sides in the war. 11% believed that Sparta were involved somehow. Just 4% realised that France fought alongside Britain in the war, albeit badly.

The second question asked what famous names were associated with the deadly conflict. Here, the children were also woefully ill-informed. 47% thought Jesus was one of the figureheads of the war. 41% named Hitler - and although technically he was involved, he was not famous at the time. 18% of children thought that the Chuckle Brothers had been caught up in the action, whereas neither Barry nor Gary were even born at the time.

A final question asked children in which years the war was fought. Over a third thought it was at about the time of the dinosaurs, or some other era of prehistory.

Leader of the opposition Ed Miliband has seized upon the survey as proof that the quality of Britain's education system is decreasing rapidly. "We need to educate people about the First World War, instead of learning this new-fangled mathematics or spelling."

However, historical groups have claimed that the World Wars get too much attention already, and that more time in school should be devoted to other forgotten conflicts, such as the Hundred Years War, the Cod War and that war that lasted 20 minutes in Zanzibar.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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