Written by Tommy Twinkle
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Sunday, 11 November 2012

image for The BBC's Going To The Dogs!
Going to the dogs!

Speaking on BBC TV's The Andrew Marr show this morning BBC Chairman Lord Pattern said that following emergency talks with the Prime Minister last night it had been decided to relocate the BBC's Television Centre at White City to the other side of London at the old Walthamstow Greyhound Stadium.

'It's been clear to everyone for some time that the BBC is going to the dogs anyway,' said Lord Pattern, 'so when the Prime Minister suggested we move from our plush West London buildings over to the old Walthamstow dog track in East London I immediately saw the sense of it.'

Walthamstow Greyhound Stadium was to be pulled down to make way for flats but has stood empty and unused ever since its closure in August 2008.

'We'll have to to make a few adjustments there and give it a lick of paint,' said Lord Pattern, 'and there's bound to be a few broken windows needing to be replaced there, but the people we have working for us have been too spoiled for too long. They'll just have to get used to working in a few drafts until we get the new windows in. If they don't like it then they'll have to find positions elsewhere. We might even be able to attract some decent journalists living around that part of London to come and work for us. Let's face it, they're bound to have a bit more common sense than the soppy lot we're employing now.'

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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