Members of the government have called for more children to be taken into care. This comes after a report that said some care homes in isolated rural areas are now in danger of being surplus to requirements.
"It seems that over the last 20 years there has been a down turn in kids being taken into care" A spokesman for the Welsh conservative party said. "This seems to have come after the Waterhouse inquiry which seemed to suggest that all children in care are abused."
In fact it was a key finding of that inquiry that many children were being taken into care to satisfy the appetites of abusers.
"It is not like the old days" a nameless senior Tory minister from the Thatcher and Major years told 'The Sun' "Back then the care homes were full of young boys who were ripe for being taught about love. We could bend them over at will and teach them what it really means. Now when you visit a care home it full of damaged boys who will fight you."
"Look it's always a difficult call to take children away from their parents." David Cameron said "We need to have look at who their parents vote for. If they vote for us then we leave them be. If they vote for Labour then we take em and rape em. But right now we don't know what to do about Lib Dem voters children."
Celebrity psychic Mystic Meg today refused to use her powers to contact Jimmy Savile saying "I met Jimmy in life once, and that was bad enough. I would rather not open myself to him."