Written by Sidney Bollocks
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Tuesday, 6 November 2012

image for Virginity For Sale In Online Auction
Going, going, gone.

Following the successful sale of a young woman's virginity in an online auction, budding entrepreneurs appear set to alter Britain's retail landscape for good.

Reports of Brazilian student Catarina Migliorini selling her virginity in an online auction, for the princessly sum of $780,000, appear to have stimulated a new fad in online retailing.

Ms Migliorini sold her virginity to a Japanese man, after some stiff competition from a Frenchman and a last minute telephone bid from a psychic medium, who claimed to be acting for the late Sir Jimmy Savile.

A Peckham based company has set up a new website, www.hymens-r-us.biz, and is now offering young women the opportunity to sell their virginity to the highest bidders.

Lance Growler, webmaster of Hymens-R-Us, told us "In these times of austerity and economic depression, these young women are to be congratulated for taking the bull by the horn, so to speak. Good luck to them, I say."

One of the first vendors to register on the website was nineteen year old Deidre Minge from Penge. Deirdre has four children, whom she reports are all adopted, and has advertised her virginity with a reserve price of £40. She has a certificate from her GP confirming her virginal condition.

Another to register was 46 year old Norma Speeks. Norma is a veteran of online virginity trading, having previously sold her virginity online to countless men in various internet chat rooms.

A local trading standards officer warned that his department will be taking a keen interest, once trading is underway in earnest.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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