Written by Joe Leff
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Sunday, 4 November 2012

A Gateshead delivery driver has had his frying pan reduced in size from 16 to 10 inches diameter.

Aluvaf Ryup, 33, had been driving whilst still holding his 16-inch pan.

In court, magistrates duly considered his pan, which had been set aside whilst the local blacksmith was called in to cut it down to size.

Mr Ryup had a previous unblemished record "and his pancakes were delicious," said one of the court officials. "And his meals-on-wheels service is a boon to local pensioners," added his solicitor.

Other delivery drivers in Gateshead have already started downsizing before they come up before the magistrates.

Fred Haddock, who drives a mobile fish'n'chip van, is worried by these reductions. "I might only be able to offer two scampi and a chip. I'm already losing some of my chips when I drive round corners."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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