Written by Joe Leff

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Thursday, 1 November 2012

Plans for a massive new shopping mall in Arbroath have been put on ice.

A somewhat frosty approval for the 20-megastore complex was given begrudgingly by the Highlands District Council in February last year. But local traders argued that they didn't want any more chains of clothing shops.

No progress with the plans has been made, and as the sell-by date approaches, the plans have been put on big blocks of ice, next to other plans (for a new Iceland store) which have been in the freezer since 2010.

The decision was met with a cool reception by parish councillors. "These on-hold decisions are costing us a fortune. Do you know how much big blocks of ice cost these days?"

Local residents are also unhappy. "Every time anybody wants to have a look at the plans, it takes ages to de-frost them," complained Ivor Coldand, blowing into his hands to try and warm his fingers.

The Mayor of Arbroath is concerned about increasingly heated arguments between developers and the council, and is urging everybody "to cool it".

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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