Written by Backandtotheleft
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Topics: Hell, Hull

Friday, 26 October 2012

In response to a tourism drive instigated by council big wigs in the glorious city of Kingston Upon Hull, a protest group has been set up to stop the renaming of the city. Council chiefs had wanted to rename the city "Hell" which in Back and to the Lefts opinion is a bit of a stretch as "Hell" get's more sun than Hull.

The group called "To Hull And Beyond" want to put a stop to all the retarded ideas that their City Hall keep spewing onto their streets.
Mrs Lilly Putt of the group said:

"I'd like to point out that although Hull isn't a "Urban paradise" it isn't as bad as "UK's Shittest City Guide" has made out. For a start were not Leeds which has got to give us at least twenty "were not shit points". Hull has many great things to be proud of we have the worlds largest submarium which has a fantastic fish restaurant in it. Two top flight rugby teams reside in our great city and the football team once had Ray Parlour playing for them. Please let us not forget the man who abolished slavery, William Wilberforce, came from Hull. Not London, Birmingham, Edinburgh or New York but Hull. It was here in this fair city that the first slabs of racial equality were laid over the garden of bigotry."

Stirring words.

Back and to the Left News would also like to point out that we have the only politician that can actively punch voters and his popularity doesn't drop.

"To Hull And Beyond" added:

"Apparently city hall commissioned a survey that ended up saying that people would much rather visit Hell than Hull. Outrageous! This is slander of the highest order, visit Hell? Where Jimmy Savile has a apartment? Give me a break. The people the must have asked must have come from North of the border and we all know their all just pissed at the fact they haven't evolved thumbs yet."

Back and to the Left news would like to point out to Hull's tourism board that we don't want tourists here. Tourists come from far off lands and do you know what's in far off lands? SARS. Think about it.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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