Her Majesty the Queen has been fitted with a prosthetic robot arm, to aid her in her duties of waving, knighting and ribbon-cutting.
The Queen had used her right arm to wave regally for all of her 88 years, and described it recently as "bloody sore". Rheumatism and 50 years of giving Prince Philip special treats had led to her wrist being almost useless.
The robotic arm was developed at the University of Armagh, which specialises in researching solutions for people who have lost limbs in accidents. The Queen's real arm was removed in an operation this week and has been hidden in a top secret location for use in emergencies.
A banknote will celebrate the Queen's mechanoid limb and will feature her waving with it. She is reported to be very happy with the new arm, and Philip is said to be delighted with her newly firm grip.
So let us salute our modern a-wrist-ocracy. Next Her Maj is considering having a mechanical arse fitted. Long live our android Queen, R2E2!