Written by CaptainSausage

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Topics: Police, Elections

Wednesday, 24 October 2012

image for Police commissioner elections begin
Poll-ice: who would you vote for?

Next month, people across the UK will be voting for who they want to act as their local police commissioner, and enthusiasm levels could not be higher. Literally billions are expected to turn out to vote for their favourite coppers to be appointed to a position where they can have a very minor effect on the way the streets are policed.

UK Chief of Police Bobby Plod explained the reasons for the vote. "We're fed up with having to make difficult decisions about policing, so who better than the general public to decide how we should do our jobs. It takes all the responsibility away from us."

Many candidates have put themselves forward for the elections in various cities. They come from a variety of backgrounds. Some are current or former police officers. Some are failed politicians. Others are hardened criminals attempting to infiltrate the system.

If successful, the scheme may be rolled out further. Soon people will be able to vote for their local fire chief, their local headmaster, their bus drivers and even their binmen.

PM David Cameron was enthusiastic about the scheme. "What could be better for Britain than giving people more choice, and more democracy, and holding an election for every significant public sector job going."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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