Written by queen mudder
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Topics: drunk, Trolls, barking

Monday, 22 October 2012

image for Footage posted of 'Sir Les Patterson' lookalike being thrown out of Barking internet cafe
Caught on CCTV!

Isle of Dogs, London - The drink-sodden, vomit-splattered Barry Humphries-esque character is seen stumbling from a London internet cafe following a ruck with management.

Sixty seconds of effing and blinding immortalized on a YouBoob! vid is set to go viral following failure of a High Court bid to ban publication.

"He's a menace, M'Lud," cafe proprietor Jonty Badger told Lord Justice Gibbet as the jaw-dropping footage was reviewed in No 13 Court.

"Several women complained about his creme de menthe-sodden breath and some suggestive fumblings with mouse-mat and pencil.

"We eventually banned him on a elf n safety basis."

Identified only as colorful local nutjob Percy McRubbish the Barking, Isle of Dogs resident 'may have some previous' according to testimony from numerous other London K9 district internet cafe owners.

Lifetime bans include from the A1 Trolls Anonymous Cafe [Pratts Bottom] and the Barking Lido Internet Cafe and DeliDiner where a lewd act with a cucumber sandwich saw McRubbish ejected last Halloween.

Declining the gagging injunction Judge Gibbet said it was about time the footage was posted 'for the nation's own good'.

A half hour session at Badger's IT premises is still a bargain at 50p.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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