Written by j.w.
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Saturday, 20 October 2012

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Tory Backbencher Jullian Bonkers

After a whip around on the Tory back benches, Chief Whip Andrew Mitchell was relieved of his trousers and soundly beaten.

The screams could be heard in Westminster Abbey but everyone knew it was just some old Etonians having a bit of fun.

David Cameron said he was sorry his Chief Whip was de-bagged but he wanted to keep the Police happy. 'They always enjoy a bit of hanky panky' he explained.

However a fresh crisis has hit the Government as a Policeman in Downing street heard Cameron shouting 'That should get the fucking filth off my back!'

The Prime Minister's explanation that he was referring to the shit left on his jacket by some of his European friends was doubted in the corridors of power.

Back benchers with their excitement raised by the Mitchell de-bagging are preparing a similar fate for the PM.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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