Written by Talking Tic-Tacs
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Saturday, 20 October 2012

image for Lame Duck leaves Pathetic Pond
Lame Ducks old colleague - Retarded Fish.

Stereotypical Tory and Chief pussy whipped Andrew Mitchell has eventually bowed to plebeian pressure and fallen on his Caesarian sword.

The lamest of lame ducks was clinging on to his position like an alcoholic's giro after most definitely branding a police officer a "fucking pleb." Since branded 'plebgate', or 'gate-gate'.

Mitchell was dismayed at the lack of unethical elitism shown by the officer, grossly out of step with Government piss-on-the-poor but protect-the-privileged policy.

However, the subjects or plebeians of his Party's empire have rebelled enough for his honourable, selfless sacrifice. Of which he has since qualified with further denials and self preservation statements.

Mitchell says he did not call the officer a name, but does admit saying to the officer, "I thought you guys were supposed to fucking help us", in what is a mere, harmless allusion to the two powerful institutions working together at the expense of the average man and normal rules. You know like Hillsborough. Or phone hacking. Or police brutality. Or anything that we don't know about yet.

It is thought the Prime Minister could no longer defend Mitchell as the latter increasingly became a caricature of himself. And not just because he looks like a Spitting Image puppet.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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