Written by IainB
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Tuesday, 16 October 2012

image for Felix Baungartner's record broken less than a week after he risked his life - by scouts
This balloon goes high, the scouts didn't.

The seventeenth and three-quarter scout troop of Fleetwood, a tram stop in Blackpool, have beaten Felix Baungartner's death defying leap from a balloon 120,000 feet up in the air.

"We applied a little bit of maths," said scout troupe leader, Arthur "Clover" Garlic. "Felix Baungartner jumped from 120,000 feet. So we go sixty-one thousand scouts together and had them all jump at the same time."

According to Garlic, due to the equality policies in the scouts that allows children of different abilities or faiths (but not sexuality), children less than the average number of legs were allowed to take part in the jump, increasing the number of scouts required from sixty-thousand and one, to sixty-one thousand.

"They'll be jumping onto sixty-one thousand balloons," said Garlic.

According to the Guinness Book of Records, the act of blowing up sixty-one thousand seven hundred and nineteen balloons, is in itself a record.

"We lost seven hundred and eighteen balloons to over blowing," said Garlic. "And one to a very sharp rose bush."

At precisely twelve noon yesterday, all the scouts jumped off a pavement onto a balloon.

"It was fantastic," said Garlic. "There was this massive bang, as all the balloons burst. It was a wall of sound. A wall is a kind of barrier, and the balloons were definitely broken afterwards."

The Guinness Book have records have stated that the scouts have jumped 120,451 feet. Their sound was a barrier that ended up broken.

"We can find nothing wrong with their logic," said Alf McGuinness. "We've taken the record off Baungartner and given it to the Scouts."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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