Written by queen mudder
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Sunday, 14 October 2012

image for Barking man caught urinating through own letterbox
Urine trouble here, boy

Isle of Dogs - "Strong drink may have played a part in it," Barking resident Arthur Troglodyte admitted today as footage of him weeing through his own, Acacia Avenue front door was posted on the YouBoob! channel.

The London K9 postcode estate agent remains in the marital doghouse after an anonymous neighbor caught him at it and immortalized the 'shower party' on a video camera.

"Ok, Ok, I admit it was me," Troglodyte shouted this afternoon during a matrimonial 'heart-to-heart' with long-suffering spouse Gladys, "but don't blame me for that turd on the doormat."

His dumbstruck wife had watched the two minute vid as the domestic tiff erupted, blaming the family's elderly pooch Waffles for a nasty puddle on the hall floor.

"That's gotta be Waffles," Troglodyte insisted darkly.

"Or persons unknown."

A cursory glance at the video in question shows 39 year-old Arthur wending his way home along the Barking thoroughfare, clearly the worse for the demon drink.

He first stops to snatch some relief at a privet hedge on the corner with Pottsdam Gardens - which gets a full 30 second blast of his golden shower.

He then turns into the home stretch and attempts to mount some garden steps to a neighbor's front door, jangling his keys in anticipation before falling backwards into an inopportunely dumped wheelie bin.

A few moments later - and with one eye shut to improve navigation - the hapless Arthur braves the ascent to the door marked No 69 where he lingers before pulling out the old waterworks handle and stuffing it through a shiny brass letterbox...

The price of a Barking two-up/two-down has rocketed by fifty quid since the estate agent's ID was blown.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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