Written by queen mudder
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Topics: Jimmy Savile

Friday, 12 October 2012

image for Royal garden, Mayfair tailors and up-market estate agency in crisis rebranding amid mounting Savile furor
Jimmy was like The Godfather to me, Ma'am

London - A Windsor Great Park herbaceous border, a bespoke men's tailoring association and a top knobs' property agency are in crisis talks to distance themselves from their eponymous pervy namesake.

The Jimmy Garden (Windsor], Jimmy's Row tailors and Jimmy Estates have given themselves until Monday morning to re-launch under more wholesome brands amid the escalating debacle.

And they've hired the Not Jimmy's! PR Agency as fears of smear-spread by association swell unabated.

The centuries old business of 'shifting schmatter' and flogging two-up/two-down dumps - er...upmarket homes! - thrived during Jimmy Savile's pre-RIP daze.

The era saw bucket loads of cash poured into the Windsor royal garden managed by the Crown Estate before 'horrid' revelations about the ex-Beeb DJ impacted negatively on anything 'Savile'-sounding as share prices plunges continue to cause dismay.

Commenting on the fiasco a former PR guru to Mrs Thatcher said it was important to excise any mention of the dreaded moniker that's blighting business and 'frightening the whorses'.

"I think they should start with the Old Queen Mum's Savill Tiara," Poppy Hogwash told reporters, "fashioned from gemstones created from Rasputin's cremated ashes."

Rumors abound that the notorious Hellfire Club dominatrix was Jimmy Savile's birth mother - making him a half-brother to President George Bush Senior.

This weekend the Windsor Castle's Savile Wing - where both horrible pervs were actually farrowed - will be formally decommissioned and re-named the Squeaky Clean Suite.

The Duke of Pratts Bottom is 104.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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