Written by IainB
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Monday, 8 October 2012

image for Savile Row to be renamed Tailor Street
The new place for Savile Row

One of London's poshest streets, Savile Row, is to be renamed to Tailor Street in a bid to distance itself from Jimmy Savile.

"We don't know for certain just what Jimmy Savile has done or not done," said Boris Johnson, Mayor of London, who is organising the renaming ceremony. "However, we feel it is best for the businesses on Savile Row, I mean Tailor Street, if any connection to the disgraced DJ is removed."

A government funded committee has spent the past week coming up with a new name, eventually settling on a descriptive name.

"They chose Tailor Street because there is no Tailor Street in London, and there are a lot of tailors on the street," said Boris. "And that took them a week!"

The move has prompted a possible change to other streets in London, renaming Harley Street to Doctor Road, and Bond Street to Boutique Street.

"It's a great idea," said Johnson. "When these streets were originally named, sometime before 1970, nobody knew what sort of premises would be opened on them. Now they're entrenched as particular shopping destinations, we can name them more appropriately."

The name Savile Row is not going to disappear. Instead it will be moved into the Elephant and Castle, where it will be the new name for a previously unnamed alley round the back of a row of kebab and charity shops.

Not everybody is enamoured by the new name. London cabbies have complained that they will have to rewrite their handbook at a massive expense, which could be as much as fifteen pound a page, depending on the time of day, and whether or not it's going south of the river. However, the London Street Atlas company, A2Z are overjoyed as it means everybody will have to buy a new street atlas.

"There's winners and losers," said Boris. "Like in anything. Sometimes, you can be a winner AND a loser. Like me!"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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