The Ministry of Transport have been in touch with French authorities in order to obtain the release of Maths teacher and alleged child abductor, Jeremy Forrest.
'There's no one here who can do mathematics' explained Top civil servant Josiah Penpusher 'we have to get someone in quickly who can start at once. Someone who is desperate for a job. Forrest is clearly our man'.
Already insiders are claiming that Forrest has committed no crime as Megan Stammers, the schoolgirl who went on a trip to France with him was, in fact sixteen, not fifteen as was first thought.
Minister of Transport, Justine McLoughlin, said Forrest would be sorting out the 'complex mathematics' involved with the megashambles that denied Virgin Rail the ability to keep the trains moving.
David Cameron, desperate to have the matter settled before the Tory party conference, has said the Ministry of Transport must be given a second chance and that Forrest's track record meets all the expectations he demands of people joining him.
'He may be a virgin over trains' joked Cameron 'but he will get Virgin to run the trains.'