Written by Joe Leff
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Topics: Fire, attention

Wednesday, 3 October 2012

A Gateshead man is recovering in hospital after setting himself on fire in a desperate plea for help and attention.

For several years Albert Dullboddy (55), an unemployed traffic warden, had complained of being ignored at home. He had recently taken to wearing high visibility jackets around the house. But still his wife had ignored him.

"When I talk to her she never listens," said Mr Dullboddy. "She reckons my voice is too quiet. But for the last two weeks I've been shouting to her through a megaphone."

When asked about his latest fire incident, Mr Dullboddy said "She was always giving me the cold shoulder, so I thought I would show her. I was really getting hot under the collar."

Setting fire to himself was clearly a dramatic way of drawing attention to himself in his own house. "I thought she might take a bit more notice of me," muttered Mr Dullboddy. "But she just stamped on me like I was a tab-end."

Mr Dullboddy is now sitting up in his hospital bed, thoroughly enjoying all the attention he is getting.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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