Written by Joe Leff
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Tuesday, 2 October 2012

During the recent floods in Yorkshire, local farmer Henry Shawtass managed to keep his buttocks dry whilst rescuing sheep from his flooded fields.

Mr Shawtass - who is only 5 ft tall - went back to borrow his wife's high-heeled wellington boots. "Once I'd got them on I could see a lot better. And although the water still came up past me knees, at least I kept my arse dry."

Apparently, the sheep liked the look of the newly re-booted farmer, and followed him safely back to higher land.

Mr Shawtass's wife Enid welcomed the safe return of her husband's prize-winning buttocks.
"He can borrow my high-heeled wellies anytime he wants. I never want him to have drenched buttocks in these dreadful downpours."

Mr Shawtass is hoping to keep his buttocks dry through the coming winter. He wants to get them in good shape for the Harrogate Show.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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