Written by Talking Tic-Tacs
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Saturday, 29 September 2012

image for Labour look to Letterman
Alistair Darling creaming his pants over Letterman leadership hysteria.

After his gentle grilling, chewing and spitting out like a piece of shit chewing gum because it's been grilled, of the Prime Minister on his American show - David Letterman is wanted by the Labour Party.

Sources close to sources that are even closer to Labour officials have revealed they want Letterman to LEAD the party and take over from hapless Ed Millipede. This despite the chat show king not being a Labour Party member, or a British citizen, or having the slightest of desire to.

Nonetheless dozy Labour members are creaming their pants at the thought of it. "It was effortless" said a Labour insider, "If only Ed had that kind of poise and charisma. Sure Cameron looked as comfortable as a cat on rollerblades but imagine that at Prime Ministers Questions! Letterman would nail him with incisive questions like 'whats the deal with Wales?', genius."

Whilst the Prime Minister did indeed appear as at home as a homeless person on the format, efforts are believed to be underway to make Letterman's corny, gap tooth grin the new face of Labour. And thereby replacing the current zombie aardvark one.

Letterman has since stated he would rather stick needles into his eyeballs than enter British politics and, after being reminded who he was, said of the Prime Minister, "Ha! That guy! What a Magna Chancer. Like he didn't know that. Goddamn Churchill screwing up my interview flow."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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