Written by queen mudder
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Topics: Toilet, Zimbabwe, barking

Monday, 24 September 2012

image for Zimbabwe synchronised toilet flush craze spreads to Barking
The scene in Bulawayo High Street today

Isle of Dogs - An Autumn Equinox cleansing ritual peculiar to the Zimbabwean city of Bulawayo is the latest craze to hit East London.

At 7.30pm local African time Barking residents are being asked to flush their bogs in a Mexican Wave reaction of spirit cleansing.

The towns are twinned under a karmic pact forged by Mrs Thatcher during fallout from the Miners' Strike.

This shut down London sanitation facilities in a covert Special Branch op to flush out troublemaker pals of Arthur Scargill.

"Yeah, the whole idea was a pile of cack," former GLC leader and ex-London Mayor Ken Livingstone commented, "from which a rotten whiff still prevails today."

Tonight's sympathetic gesture comes in response to Bulawayo Mayor Thaba Boris-Johnson Moyo's plea to clear the decks as months of accumulated waste threatens to swamp the city.

"There's just a minute possibility that a tidal wave of putrid effluvia hits the Presidential Palace in Harare," Moyo said today as aides of Robert Mugabe battened down the hatches ahead of any potential backwash.

His Bling Towers Castle is loosely modelled on Buckingham Palace where Queen Elizabeth once gonged up Mugabe as the Commonwealth's premier Knight of the Gutter.

Meanwhile Barking residents are speculating if a local sewer pipe running directly under nearby City Hall might trigger a tsunami-like reaction to local London dictator Boris Johnson's orifice.

"Pity it's not Cameron or Clegg at the faultline end of the pipeline," Livingstone was heard muttering into his breakfast cappucino.

"Might encourage a lot more Londoners to dump and flush tonight if they thought those two bastards would get a pasting."

George Osborne is 69.

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