Scotland - Prince Philip has blamed carnivorous aliens for last night's 'meatier shower' that bombarded Balmoral with tons of firey space-sh*t.
The equinoctial dump saw a huge dollop of methane-rich ET by-products ejected over Royal Deeside by a mysterious sapphire-colored craft.
This morning large patches of the Castle's turds - er...turves! - were still smouldering as grouse-beaters fought back the fumes ahead of the day's planned annual budgie - badger! - cull.
"Maybe it's another International Space Station lav mishap," apologetic MoD officials queried as groundsmen in sh*t-proof waders hosed down the residence.
Remnants of toxic space artefucts have been discovered including something looking suspiciously like a NASA-issue tampon and a Buzz Aldrin-themed sick-bag.
The incident is said to have maddened the Queen who fears she's the target of space sh*t-toting stalkers after three more corgis dropped dead from sky-borne crap.
The Aurora Borealis is to be renamed the Royal Northern Frights.