Written by IainB
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Thursday, 20 September 2012

image for Office of Fair Trading to investigate fuel prices
Fuel prices are kept high, so they don't suddenly get high

The Office of Fair Trading is to investigate fuel prices in Britain for the first time.

"I went to put some petrol in my car," said Hilary Dale, who heads up the Price Fixing division at the Office of Fair Trading. "It cost me seventy pounds!"

According to Dale, this was the first time that her fuel had cost this much, and she was appalled.

"How can petrol cost so much?" she said. "We've been on a government allowance for the past few years, but that was scrapped in a recent cost saving measure. Now I see what other people have been complaining about."

Now that the employees at the Office of Fair Trading are victims of the high fuel prices, suddenly the price of fuel, or rather it's relationship with the price that the fuel companies pay, has come under scrutiny, although they claim that this has nothing to do with it.

"Even if our fuel allowance hadn't been scrapped," Dale said, "we would have to investigate. There is a massive disparity between the price that the fuel companies pay, and what the consumer is paying. This is wrong, and we always investigate such inequalities."

Fuel companies maintain that they do pass on savings to customers, and do their best to keep fuel prices as level as possible.

"There is a great deal of fluctuation in the wholesale cost of fuel," said Tessa Coe, of the Fuel Resellers Association. "The price at the pump absorbs these fluctuations as much as possible."

According to the FRA, this has meant that the recent halving in the wholesale cost could not be passed onto the consumer, as it would have meant that at some point, fuel prices would have had to go up again, which upsets people, and the FRA don't like upsetting people.

"Better to have fuel costs slowly rise over the year than suddenly rocket up," said Coe.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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