Written by Tommy Twinkle
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Wednesday, 19 September 2012

image for Charles And Camilla Will Wear Second Hand Clothes For Their Australian Holiday!
Camilla is welcome to borrow the hat!

Prince Charles and his wife Camilla will not be buying new clothes to take with them on their Diamond Jubilee touring holiday to Australia, New Zealand and Papua New Guinea this November. Instead they will be taking with them some of the clothes the Queen and Prince Philip bought to wear during their own holiday to Australia earlier this year.

Prince Charles feels that with many people in Britain now having to cut down on their spending in these difficult times, the royal family should also set an example by doing likewise.

"It's not fair on the taxpayer for us to insist on taking new clothes with us to wear every time we take another of our royal holidays abroad," he says, "and the fact is that I have the same waist size as my father so the brand new trousers my dad wore when in Australia earlier this year will fit me fine.

"The legs will probably have to be turned up a little but Camilla says she'll soon sort that out with a needle and thread. Those trousers would otherwise just be left hanging up in daddy's wardrobe at the Palace all through the winter so it makes sense for me to be getting some use out of them.

"Apart from the trousers there's several nice jackets, a few summer shirts he's only worn once or twice, and there's also a nice pair of shoes he's worn just a few times. And when William gets back to the Uk I'm going to ask him whether he'd mind me borrowing that nice jazzy blue shirt I saw him wearing on television a few days ago on one of those South Pacific islands.

"I'm sure he won't mind letting his old dad wear it on holiday."

As for Camilla, Charles admits Kate's choice of clothes are 'a bit too young' for his wife.

"Camilla's no spring chicken," admits Charles. "She'd look a right old tart dressed in Kate's skirts. Camilla will probably have to take a look in a few charity shops to find something more appropriate for the older woman, or failing that perhaps my sister Princess Anne has a few things she can borrow.

"My mother's clothes are the right style but of course are far too small for my wife. Any of my mother's long skirts on Camilla would look more like a mini skirt. She just doesn't have the legs for it. Possibly there could be a few of mummy's hats Camilla could squeeze her head into at a push.

"Mummy did sort out a few of her bras and a bikini for Kate to take with her, she says my wife is welcome to those. Camilla's going to phone Kate in a few days time to arrange when to collect them. I wonder if William's got any sandals I can borrow as well, and a jazzy tie I could wear at any of the evening functions out there.

"Does anyone know if one can get toilet paper in Australia? Or Caviar? Or toothpaste? Do they have cars in Australia, or just horses? Where exactly is Australia anyway, is it anywhere near Transylvania?"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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