Written by Backandtotheleft
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Topics: Kids, Obesity, butter

Monday, 17 September 2012

A fascinating study has concluded that 56% of mums don't know what their kids weigh. All of this after watching another government funded study waste even more money! Back and to the Left approached a Government scientist, offered him an Aero and got him to tell us how to work out your child's weight. He said:

"It's fucking simple you fuck 'tards. If your fucking child needs a specially reinforced bike frame then it's too fucking fat."

We asked if there was any advice he could give worried mothers of obese children. He responded with:

"Hell yeah, I'll say two things about combating obesity. One: a stick of butter is not a fucking appetiser and Two: If you do have a fat child just bully it. That way it will lose weight or die trying. Now get the fuck out of my sight and get a haircut before I bite your fucking nose off!"

Back and to the Left news thought that the "scientist" had been a little hasty in advising parents to bully their children and a little cruel in the way he phrased it. Then we realised we were talking to our own dad.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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