Written by queen mudder
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Sunday, 16 September 2012

image for Human Frights lawyer Sir Baldylox Fatcat Arzlikka QC will represent Kate at tit snaps hearing
At his Lincoln's Binn chambers today

Paris - He honed his awesome litigation skills defending Princess Margaret in the Headless Duchess caper of '69.

And got Fergie off oral necrophilia charges from a Royal Mausoleum hen night described by one Old Bailey judge as 'pretty hard to swallow'.

On Monday Sir Baldy, as he's known at his Lincoln's Binn chambers, will plead for Kate's tits to be allowed some respite.

At two grand an hour his bulging Hellfire Club portfolio sees a three month wait for sue-my-ass wannabes.

But for Kate and William he'll drop all his pressing cases and hotfoot it to Paris to fight the good fight.

"Hmm, if you want my honest opinion those lurex nipple tassels may be a bit of a stumbling block," Sir Baldy told his royal clients tonight.

"Still, we might be able to claim they're a Royal Victorian Order gong," the QC added, "if you're prepared to get them out and show them to the presiding judge."

Monday's hearing is at noon.

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