Written by Talking Tic-Tacs
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Friday, 14 September 2012

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The publication of topless photographs of the Duchess of York, or wherever, has caused widespread anger from the Royal family and breast enthusiasts everywhere.

French magazine Closer have apparently published paparazzi photographs of the Princess with her paps out which has led to a torrent of controversy and annoyance. Not least due to Her Royal Highness having no obviously discernable rack.

One titty lover tweeted 'This is an absolute national disgrace, to invade their privacy for the sake of a couple of pre-creased prunes is hardly worth it.'

Another jugs hugger said 'Whats the scoop? She's got two backs for christs sake!' While big boob badgerer Barry moaned 'All this controversy over a couple of pancakes, who cares?'

The fall out from Middleton's crêpes being exposed will undoubtedly continue with legal action against the magazine expected. The magazine's French editors remain bullish however, 'oui, the British are making a mountain out of two flattened molehills non?'

Well Francois indeed, wappers they most definitely are not.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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