Written by Backandtotheleft
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Topics: King Richard

Wednesday, 12 September 2012

A body dug up in a car park in Leicester could be the lost body of Richard III. DNA tests on the body have so far proved it is in fact a body and it is almost certainly not a horse. But then again experts have been wrong before.

The discovery that Richard III wasn't a horse has hurt believers in the rumour that the current Royal family is descended from him.

The body, said by witnesses, to be 8ft long and have metal arms was unearthed early yesterday and has continued to disrupt the car parking facilities.

The archaeological dig was originally started to see if there was any truth in the local myth of giant otter people. The otter people were said to have ruled a tract of land around Leicester between 1135-1142 before being driven back to the river banks by angry locals.

The otters were referred to in ancient history texts as "The Otterman Empire" not to be confused with the barbarous regime that presided over Turkey for a long period of time.

If the body is to be proved to be Richards then a royal burial is to be considered. That or they'll hang his body from London Bridge for American tourists to take pictures of.

Back and to the Left news applauds the fact we are actively trying to preserve our history. But we cant but wonder if this is merely a prelude to one of our greatest fear. A vengeful zombie king leading a undead horde across the plains of our fair England.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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