Written by queen mudder

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Sunday, 9 September 2012

image for Queen's official Farewell Tour launches on Monday
I feel the onset of a new royal 'austerity' tour, George

Balmoral, Scotland - Successful milking of public credulity with that Diamond Jubilee malarkey now sees HM hog the limelight in a personal stab at The Great Escape.

Monday's launch under a brilliant 17-degrees Virgo Sun/Mercury conjunction triggers the start of a lavish Farewell Tour.

Coalition government floodgates will open yet another taxpayer-funded binge because of the paucity of complaints about all the other royal 'austerity' measures.

"Pity about the dead pooch, of course," a royal translator of the canine entrails commented at news that an ancient Corgi had to be sacrificed by Hellfire Club soothsayers.

Some magnificent aspect in Canis Major saw thirteen year-old Monty ritually spatchcocked this weekend at a Balmoral altar satanic ceremony.

His eviscerated innards formed a big Pound Sterling sign which Hellfire soothsayers said was 'very favorable' if you discount the alternative, coffin-shaped interpretation.

Online bookies go even money for Queen Elizabeth popping her clogs on Monday 10 September in a betting industry reaction that's bound to suit the City.

Prince Philip's own life expectancy is rated as 'slightly better than the corgi'.

But at least he now has a brand new leash.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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