Written by queen mudder
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Friday, 7 September 2012

image for Portuguese Man of War found up Camilla's skirt
It's a sting: gelatinous blob with venom-filled tentacles

Cornwall - A gelatinous Cabo-adjunto - ['Attached corporal'] has been found washed up in the Duchess of Cornwall nether regions according to marine pest control reports.

Described by Portuguese military sources as a varmint 'with a gas-filled bladder' Camilla is seen as a natural predator attracted to this spineless variety of colonial Siphonophora.

Environmentalists reckon the recent Pisces Fool Moon may have attracted the creature to seek solace under the Duchess' skirt during freak tidal activity among murky Cornish undercurrents.

A photo posted on the royal web site this morning shows the Cornish Pasty-shaped blob - complete with a transparent purple float and sky-blue venom-filled tentacles - clinging for dear life on its host.

"This Physalia physalis is no classic jelly-fish," marine conservation specialist Dr Lily Pad commented, "it's more of a floating colony of symbiotic organisms, decadent - er...dependent! - on one another for their meal ticket."

Pretty much like Camilla herself.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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