Written by dulcie gabbani
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Topics: Julian Assange

Wednesday, 22 August 2012

image for Wikileaks editor found hiding in local pub cellar

Wikileaks editor Julian Assange who police believed was still holed up in Ecuador's embassy in London, has been, supposedly, found hiding in the cellar of the Jolly Spunker pub in Greenfield, Oldham.

Pub landlord, Alf Trotter, 55, told us " I went down the cellar to change a barrel of Olde Speckled Dog, when I spotted this scruffy looking bloke asleep in the corner near the dark mild. I shook him a bit and asked him what he was doing kipping in my cellar".

He mumbled to himself for a minute and then said "I'm that Julie Assange bloke off the telly, and I wish to claim political asylum like I had in London"

Mr Trotter said " I was a bit shocked, as he didn't look anything like the bloke off the telly. For a start he had dark hair and a beard, and spoke with a Welsh accent, but then Ive never had one of them asylum seekers in my cellar before, and I must have got a bit flustered, so I just said he could stay there.

When asked about his current whereabouts, Alf told us "Oh, he's still down there, but I don't mind, as he's really good in the cellar, shifting crates of empties and changing barrels. He's saving me a lot of time and effort, so as far as I'm concerned he can stay down there as long as he likes, so long as he doesn't want paying".

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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