Written by Sidney Bollocks
Print this

Monday, 20 August 2012

image for Queen Ordered to Muzzle Corgis
This was left by the last footman who tried to muzzle a corgi.

HM Queen Elizabeth II has been ordered to muzzle her corgis in public places and has been summoned to appear at the Central London Magistrates Court, in order to answer a charge under the Dangerous Dogs Act.

The move follows a vicious attack by two of the Queen's Welsh corgis, Daffyd and Blethyn, during which a terrier belonging to Princess Beatrice was badly mauled. Such were the injuries, the terrier had to be euthanased by a vet, whilst Beatrice was calmed with a shot or two of gin and some weed.

Following a formal complaint by the aggrieved princess, the Queen will appear in court to argue why her corgis should not be destroyed under the Act. The court case will make legal history, as it will be the first Regina v Regina case to go before a court.

A palace spokesman was quoted as saying, "Just as there is a hierarchy of seniority amongst the Royal Family, so to is there one for the pets. Nobody fucks with the corgis. Just nobody".

Until the court hearing is concluded, the corgis will remain muzzled, with palace footmen drawing straws to discover who will have to undertake the frightful task.

Make Sidney Bollocks's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

More by this writer

View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story


Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!


What's 3 multiplied by 5?

7 14 15 25
33 readers are online right now!

Go to top

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more