Written by queen mudder
Print this

Sunday, 19 August 2012

image for Assange: theatrical grandstanding ...with his flies wide open
Assange preached from the balcony much like the Pope

London - Mouthfulls of bollocks for a solid ten minutes saw Julian Assange preach from the Ecuadorean embassy balcony this afternoon.

However a Beeb news close-up shows the Wikileaks arse with his flies undone.

And half an inch of schlong inside his boxer shorts looking for daylight if not a snap by the paps.

The subtle nuance was not lost on hacks gathered outside the Hans Crescent legation to hear Assange's statement on Ecuador's asylum offer.

"Asylum?" a shrill voice called out from the crowd during the rant.

"Asylum as in 'loony bin'? Bloody long way to Ecuador, mate, if you've a head problem needs sorting, ha ha."

But Assange's one man stand-up was saw him oblivious of all but himself as he proselytized pope-like at a St Peter's balcony rant regarding, er, stuff.

Mostly about a conspiracy to boil him in oil, poor lamb, when all he's ever done is be a hero taking some ultimate rap.

Zero about his indictment for extradition on serious sexual charges by Swedish Prosecutors - not a single dickie bird.

Mostly we got grandstanding about witches and witch hunts and the Spanish Inquisition that's about to grill a snitch called Bradley Manning... whose copyright violations have landed him in the slammer awaiting trial in the US.

Rafael Correa has just fallen into a giant elephant trap.

Make queen mudder's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

More by this writer

View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story


Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!


What's 3 multiplied by 2?

4 6 5 21
93 readers are online right now!

Go to top

We use cookies to give you the best experience on our website, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more