A Surrey nobleman had a disappointing night out during his first weekend visit to Manchester.
Knight of the Realm Sir Alfred Prufrock ended up on the pavement outside the Toffzarowt Night Club.
Sir Alfred went in all dressed up in his fancy gear, and immediately faced a barrage of very loud rock music and booze-fuelled dancers who jigged towards him threateningly.
"Some of them were rocking violently," said Sir Alfred. "I only wanted a quick look round to see if it was alright to bring in a few of my mates and a round table so we could sit in the corner."
Sir Alfred had to back off before he was flattened and danced upon.
The dancers defended their actions. "We work hard all week," said one clubber, "and we really look forward to weekends - but we don't want a knight like this."