Written by Clyde
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Topics: Lottery, Albania

Thursday, 16 August 2012

image for Couple win Albanian lottery
Previous winner being congratulated

A couple from the north of England want to remain anonymous after scooping the biggest prize in the Albanian national lottery, and for some reason, wish to stay anonymous.

One of the poorest countries in the world, Albania have struggled to pay back mounting debts to neighbours Foolishistan, Scamastan and Bolacksitsover and has issued this new lottery system to try and get some much needed revenue.

A lottery spokeswoman, Poola Teetsoff said "…ve av a butiful cuntry and ve vant peeples to cum to our cuntry and the lootery is von vay of doin it…", adding, "…we av sondy bitches, grun feelds and ze peeples ur viry frindly, viry poor, bit frindly…"

The tickets cost around 1p and the prizes are not that staggering. Last week's top prize was 4 goats, 15 chickens and the steering wheel off of a 1975 Trabant.

So, what do our lucky winners expect to have won? Well if the rumours are true our winners could expect a sign photograph of Daniel Day Lewis' left footprint, a replica of Hitler's right nut, a case of Albania wine from the Peezinacup region of northern Albania and as this is a rollover week, 4 goats, 15 chickens and the steering wheel off of a 1975 Trabant.

Lucky for some eh!!

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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