A pair of estranged, man's underpants were arrested today in Milton Keynes shopping centre. They crept under the noses of security guards who were busy searching in young teenage girls handbags hoping to find a pair of nicked knickers or two.
Apparently the local police were warned of the underpants going astray because local tramp called Kninky, had reported that during the night whilst sleeping on his favourite park bench, he mysteriously lost his underpants that had been stuck on his body for the last 5 years and six months without a single wash.
The underpants had left a trail that could be smelt for miles, but whilst entering the shopping centre the guards were obviously too busy with other things; young girls nicked knickers and didn't smell a thing!
Police evacuated the centre and located the underpants in front of mens retailers and sellers of erotic male underwear, Big Dick & Co, they pounced on them wearing gas masks and arrested them. They were then burnt immediately in a local pizza oven enhancing that special salami aroma!
Meanwhile Kninky, the local tramp, has been given a new pair by a local charity shop and from now on he must wear a Bio Hazard sticker which must be visable at all times, especially in the hot summer, just in case his underpants decide to go AWOL again because they are a health danger to the general public!