17-year old Frank Spencer was mooning and jumping up and down on a bus stop roof last night when it gave way and he fell through.
20 stone compulsive eater Fanny Whale was waiting in the shelter at the time. Frank's friend Jack Ladd who was filming the incident on his mobile takes up the story.
"When Frank fell through the roof I couldn't stop laughin'. Then all of a sudden out of nowhere he was flattened by this great big wobbly blob in a skirt".
"It wasn't my fault" Fanny blubbered "I thought someone had lobbed a bap with a sausage in it into the shelter and I was starvin'. I hadn't eaten for 10 minutes".
All this kerfuffle was going on as the 100 bus drew up driven by Mr Kenneth Williams.
"Oooh what a carry on" he said "I've never seen anything like it. I thought it was one of those menage-a-trois. Frank was face down on the ground with this mountainous woman biting his nether regions with Jack behind her trying to get her off. I decided to get Jack off and then Fanny and then I rushed the flattened Frank to the hospital in my bus where Matron took over".
Frank was discharged early the next day after spending an uncomfortable night lying arse about face on a hospital bed. After a panning from Matron he left with a face like a smacked arse saying he was going to get rat-arsed as soon as he could.
What an arse! More as I get it.....if I can be arsed!