Written by Simon Saunders
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Tuesday, 31 July 2012

image for Coalition Government At Odds Over Whose Turn It Is To Do The Washing Up
That bloody Osborne hasn't changed the loo roll. Twat. (Photo by V.Cable)

First it was a squabble over who hadn't flushed the toilet, then disagreements over what sort of coffee to buy and unimportant stuff like House of Lords reform.

Now the coalition government is at odds over whose turn it is to wash the pots.

The row erupted after Tory Secretary of State for Communties and Local Government, Eric Pickles, left an unwashed vat he'd used to scoff his lunch in a sink.

An anonymous Lib Dem MP told us, "He's always doing it. The fat git. He's not the only one mind. I've never seen George Osborne so much as look at a dish cloth. Lets not forget, most of these Tory toffs have hired help to do menial things around the house so they don't bother doing it in cabinet either. We suggested it would be best if we just washed our own pots but the Tories are having none of it. Osborne even suggested we should feel proud to wash his dishes. What he doesn't know is that we do wash his mug, in the toilet he never flushes. Serves him right."

The Tories have complaints of their own. One cabinet member, Teresa May, who doesn't wish to be named, claims the Lib Dems are the ones who aren't pulling their weight. She told us, "It's the Lib Dems who don't wash up or flush the loo. They're always going on about saving water. Have they seen the weather recently? Hardly a shortage of water at the moment. The smell in that cabinet lavvy is a disgrace. They can't expect George Osborne to do the washing, he thinks Fairy Liquid is something to do with a gay sex."

Labour leader Ed Milliband gave his take on this latest coalition row, but, like most people, we couldn't be bothered to listen to him.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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