Written by Tommy Twinkle
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Monday, 30 July 2012

image for PM Orders More Troops To Olympic Village Following Friday's Security Breach!
Bobby the cat.

The Prime Minister has ordered two hundred additional troops to be deployed at London's Olympic Village as a result of the now confirmed breach of security there last Friday night when a black cat somehow managed to slip iundetected into the main Olympic Stadium.

It is understood a turnstile attendant has since come forward to say a Japanese woman ticket holder did mention to him that she'd felt something brushing against her right leg when entering the stadium through the turnstiles around 8.15 pm on Friday, though whether or not it was the cat sneaking into the stadium remains uncertain.

The feline intruder has since been identified as 4 year old 'Bobby', a pet cat belonging to local Stratford resident, 76 year old Mrs Ethel Skinner. Mrs Skinner had contacted police to report Bobby as missing on Wednesday morning last week.

What is known is that having found his way undetected firstly into the Olympic Village and then into the main Olympic Stadium, Bobby then eventually decided to settle down for a catnap on the very seat reserved for Her Majesty.

On her arrival the Queen, who it is understood has now made urgent arrangements to have her eyes tested by an optician, seems to have seen what she assumed to be a comfortable black furry cushion provided for her to sit on, and so simply sat down on poor Bobby. Bobby the cat then remained trapped under the Queen for nearly four hours unable to break free until Her Majesty finally rose from her seat at midnight to announce to the world the official opening of the games.

A Buckingham palace spokesman for Her Majesty said today that the Queen has said that she did think the seat rather uncomfortable last Friday, but that at the time she was just thankful that one of her subjects had made the effort to minimise her discomfort by providing her with the black furry cushion to sit on.

Fortunately, following a check up by a Stratford vet called to the Olympic Stadium Bobby was found to have only suffered a few bruises from his ordeal and so was returned to his owner Mrs Skinner early on Saturday morning.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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