Written by IainB
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Sunday, 29 July 2012

image for London Mayor Boris Johnson to be replaced by his own waxwork
Put some straw on it's head, and nobody will be able to tell the difference

With the Olympics in full swing, London Mayor, Boris Johnson, is being called on to be at a dozen photo-shoots a day, and even with the Olympic cycle lanes in London he is finding it impossible to get to every engagement on time.

Instead, Madam Tussards has been drafted in to supply photo-shoots with a waxwork of Boris Johnson.

"It's very lifelike," said Deborah Taunt, one of the official photographers for the Olympics. "I'd go as far to say I prefer having the waxwork. I can get more sense out of it. When I've photographed the real Boris, it's hard to get him to stand still for a minute while I compose the shot."

So successful has the waxwork of Johnson been, that the Mayoral office is considering using the waxwork for more official engagements.

"This will free up Boris for events where his peculiar brand of English Toffyness is required," said Mary Horal, event co-ordinator for the Mayor's office. "For anything that just requires him to stand their looking vacant, we now have an alternative to the real Boris, one that's just as good, if not better."

Boris himself is quite pleased that some of the more boring duties can now be carried out by an oversized candle.

"Oh, it's bloody marvellous, what?" he said. "If we can get it to ride a bike, I could go on holiday and leave it in charge."

Having come up with the idea, the Mayor's Office have contacted leading robotic engineers at Manchester University to create such a stand in, as they are desperate to have Johnson out of the building and replaced with something that has a higher IQ and makes less mistakes.

"We're all dreaming of the day," said Horal.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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