The NHS has announced a major shake-up in its approach to increasing the supply of available donor organs for transplant.
Dr Albert Spleen, head of the NHS Transplant Authority, told us "We have been wrestling with this problem for years. The number of people requiring donor organs has always far outstripped the number of organs available. We have now realised that we already have a rich supply of potential donor organs, which we have not previously recognised."
Dr Spleen went on to say, "Whilst it is very sad for their families, friends and colleagues, there are many people out there who are already brain dead and who are serving little or no purpose whatsoever. We are planning to establish special facilities to care for these people, until such time as we are ready to harvest their organs. At present, we are in negotiations to lease part of the Butlins holiday resort at Skegness. We are also busy compiling a register of brain dead people whose organs will be recycled."
It has been reported that the new register is doing brisk business, with George Osbourne, Nick Clegg, David Cameron and visiting US presidential candidate Mit Romney being amongst the first to be signed up by families and friends. Ex-US president George W. Bush was proposed for the register, but his family, sadly, were informed that he was ineligible for the scheme.